How does someone truly deserve something? It’s an interesting question that is often asked introspectively. Do I really deserve this? Whether it’s good or bad, judging how much someone deserves is hard. Humans are terrible judges of whether they deserve something or not. People are so hard on themselves that they only think they deserve bad and not good. How many times have you heard someone utter the phrase “I’m going to hell”?

If anyone says they deserve good, then they come across as a privileged arrogant person. Why is that? Why is it socially acceptable to be down on yourself? Is it something we thrive on? Is that our way of telling ourselves that we should keep trying to improve? The stories of how well things are going are rarely heard or often ignored. We always dwell on the concept that we’re never good enough, that there is someone better than us. We like hearing about other people’s struggle. Sociologists call this phrase schadenfreude. This sensation makes us feel relieved that the bad thing isn’t happening to us. But I think it’s more than just that. Humans loves a good story. It’s how we attach meaning and feelings towards something. We like relating to the struggle someone else is having because we’ve been through a hard time too. Early Greek drama’s followed a formula set by one of the greatest thinkers of that time: Aristotle. His formula involved seeing the evolution of a privileged person after losing it all. It was all about creating a relatable character in which the audience could resonate with. Whether it be by crying, provoking thought, or feeling empathy. The idea was that drama was a cathartic experience which people at the time needed to remain sane. I always admire how our earlier thinkers were in tune with the concept of having a healthy mind. It seems today that not having a healthy mind is the new norm. We all know someone who is dealing with depression or anxiety(including ourselves).

Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we think we’re not good enough? Why don’t we feel deserving of the things we have? I think a lot of it has to do with competition. This seems to be especially pervasive in the tech industry where I work. There is an illusion of the genius programmer that can solve all of the world’s problems from his basement. This person doesn’t actually exist but you can imagine how inferior someone would feel comparing themselves to such a being. Even the highest people on the totem pole had to go through a learning process. The root of success is often a sum symptom of people involved, opportunity, and circumstance. No one makes it to the top alone. There’s only a “top” because there’s a bottom. This goes for any industry. Start at the bottom and work your way to the top. (Cue Drake Song.) I’d say you earn something when you set a goal and achieved it through hard work and perseverance. I don’t know if “deserve” is a word that should even be used – ever. If you got lucky in the process, even better. Sometimes hard work is overrated. If you inherited something, it’s not your fault. You deserve that too. I recently spoke to someone who mentioned how the death of family members paved the way for the life he has now. Is he supposed to feel bad about living a better life? I don’t have any way to end this point. I just thought I should write about because it came across my mind this morning. Writing is awesome. See you in the next post.